123 Ennui Boulevard
Disillusionment, NY
Phone (212) 123-5555
E-mail JA@mail1.com

Shauna Rogan

Job Applicant

Education 1997 – 1999      Salem State College      Salem, MA
English Degree Candidate
Read dead white guys while high. Was told: "Serious writers don’t wear blue fishnets." Learned the nature of apathy and bowtie withered tenured professors. Put myself in Circe’s place, blowing kisses at literary swine.
Work experience
2000 - 2000      Network Consulting Exchange      Boston, MA
Office Manager
Tried to organize startup with no venture capital. Ordered hardware, wrote proposals and held bookeeper crying on floor "Do you ever feel like it’s all your fault?" he asked through snot and failure tears. "Of course. It’s a Virgo thing. "
     1998-1999      Hammond-Mitton Publishers      Boston, MA
Administrative Assistant
Wore a skirt to cover tattoos. Fetched coffee and faxed contracts. Surfed the web and nodded politely to supervisors in the hall. Marveled at how words could lose their juiciness and be reduced to yawning legalese by the fifth floor.
     1997-1998      Video’n’More      N. Reading, MA
Watched ‘Clerks’ ad nauseum. Had sex in back room after hours and rented porn to underage friends. Filled in on New Year’s Day when scheduled person hitchhiked to Tahoma. Worked 13-hour shifts on minimum wage. Slept behind the counter nights I couldn’t go home, dreamt of roaming the streets of Versailles.
Other Qualifications:
For 21 years I’ve filled my head with useless crap: Crumb comics, Women’s History courses, HTML, Geometry and Joy Division lyrics. Nobody gives a rat’s ass for Jeopardy! trivia and I’ve never seen classified ads for a pink-haired girl’s absurdist insights and thrift-store paedomorphism.


Shauna Rogan is a 23 year old writer living in San Francisco. Her work has appeared in Red Booth Review, Mississippi Review, and Spike Magazine under the cheesy pseudonym 'Lisa Stopless'. She currently works in a retirement home and in her spare time can be found lurking in arcades.