by Justin Chin
1. Find the line in the book where you have stopped reading.
Place bookmark elsewhere in the book.
2. Place bookmark in a stranger's book.
3. Go to a hospital and leave bookmark in a patient's book.
You may also leave bookmark at a public pay phone in the facility.
4. Place bookmark in a book that has yet to be written.
May cause reader to lose place in book. Extreme disorientation may
occur. Loss of connective thoughts and lucid speech akin to dementia
may set in. Do not operate pasta makers. Do not mix with herbal
remedies. May cause liver damage, kidney stones, cerebral hemorrhage
and ulcers. May cause extreme euphoria. May cause false increase
in self- esteem. Peripheral nerve damage occurred in 21 percent
of test subjects who used a placebo bookmark. Some users report
hallucinations of Parisian cafes. Visions of God, Buddha, Vishnu,
Jacqueline Susann and Donald Duck may occur in a small percentage
of users. Cheese, curry and spring rolls may never taste the same
for some users.
If any of these reactions occur, discontinue use. Remove bookmark
and place it in a moist, calm, dark, quiet place until side effects
Justin Chin Bio: Justin Chin is a writer and performance artist. He
is the author of Bite Hard and Mongrel: Essays, Diatribes and Pranks.
Two new works, Harmless Medicine and Burden of Ashes will be published